When Zynthir and Telily woke, it seemed synchronized, both opening their eyes nearly one after another. It was the time of morning when the sun and the moon skirmished for dominating the sky. A few stars remained, the front-line soldiers of the fight for the heavens. It seemed that in her sleep Telily had snuggled closer to Zynthir, guarding her from nightmares she didn't have.
He smiled softly at her. “I never knew you were one for getting up early.”
“Neither did I. I guess it just happened. I never knew you were one for staying up late.”
“I'm not, really. Some, um, mild muscle pains.” Telily didn't notice his hasty response and turned her head up to the sky.
“When people say that you become star-crossed, do you think it's true? I mean, if the stars already have our lives planned out, how can they suddenly become crossed?”
“Maybe it's not so sudden. They might crossed from the moment you're born, condemning you before you can walk. One person's stars alone can't become crossed though. Perhaps it takes another person, someone who shakes your life to its roots. Someone who changes your life so much that your stars cross together.”
Telily slipped her fingers between his, filling the gaps. “It can't be too bad of a thing. Not if you care for a person so much that you wish to cross with them.”
“Wishing to cross stars with someone? Chances are not in that favour. Crossing your stars would only bring pain and heartache to both of the people. Not only would it bring one person down, it would bring the other with them.”
“Love can sustain in heartache and pain. It comes out with battle scars, but it can.”
Zynthir sighed. “Why don't we just go ahead and put our names here? We know that we're talking about one another.”
She shrugged. “It just seems easier to allude that fact entirely.” She brought her lips to his, breathing in his cinnamon and iron scent. They turned away, their backs pressed together as they watched the seemingly unfortunate stars fade into the dawn sky. Perhaps it was like Zynthir had said, and it took someone's life to be shaken until their stars were crossed, Telily thought. Or perhaps we're born like that. We know that our lives are going to be wretched from the moment our lives begin and we hide from it. Perhaps it takes a staggering event to show us that, above our heads, everything was destined to be wrong. Something like having your father abducted. Something like your dearest love being stolen away from you.
Or an evil witch out to murder you, willing to stop at nothing.
At the time you're reading this, my heart should have stopped.
I decided that pills would be the best choice. I would die, but I would be hallucinating and ease out of life. I thought about taking your gun that you keep stashed in the lockbox under your bed, but I thought there would be too much blood. Ha ha, sometimes I forget that you're a doctor Mom.
You shouldn't be wondering why I did this. Just in case you've entirely forgotten my eleven years of life, let me give you a quick re-cap. You married my father, Alex Cunningham. You knew that he was a shapeshifter and you knew that the trait would pass on to any potential kids that you had. I want you to know, I don't blame you for loving Dad. I don't blame him for enlisting in the army last year. That doesn't mean I don't wish that it happened.
Maybe if you had never had kids. If you were one of those young yuppie couples who vowed never to have children, instead to go on two month long ski trips or go to a ballet or opera every Sunday. This mess never would have happened if you hadn't had me.
You say that I was a blessing, that the other doctors told you that you couldn't get pregnant. You did anyway. You were twenty seven when you had me, just graduating medical school. They made you start college when you were twenty three since you had to re-learn everything after moving back from Southeastern Whaye. Anyway, you and Dad met in medical school, married at twenty six, and you two were ecstatic when you had me a year later. As if you'd really pray for a freak like me, a shapeshifter.
I always got picked on in kindergarten and throughout elementary school. Whenever it was recess I would punch the boys who would fry ants with magnifying glasses or stomp on beetles. Because I've always felt that affinity towards animals, I always screamed when I saw some sort of creature getting hurt. It's almost like I feel their pain. You remember having to go to the office when I did these things. Yet, somehow, you never understood that it wasn't them that made me do that. It was me, for hating myself, for feeling bad.
It's a stupid idea to make us go through normal schools. How do they think that helps us? It makes us feel worse- shapeshifters, fairies, vampires, werewolves, super-strongs, psychics- seeing the normal kids. They tell us that we can stop our public education at eleven, but what good does that do? We always have that imprint in our mind of those horrible days, no matter what happens, no matter how old we grow.
I didn't know the suicide rates for the “others” until I looked all over the nets. It seems like the government tries to keep them hidden. 50% of all “others”- the non-technical term for people with so-called magical abilities- have either made a suicide attempt or have killed themselves. 50%. That's two million people. Now it's two million and one.
You always told me to “find God” as if it were really that easy. You and Dad are the devout ones, I've never been. I've tried every religion at least once. Catholicism, but I never got Mass, or why they did confessions. Wiccanism, but what good is throwing herbs into fires and weaving Maypoles for a God and Goddess? Christianity, but I never got past Genesis in the Bible. My question is, is there is an almighty being, if there is a God, then why does He or She allow this to happen?
I want to say I'm sorry, but we all know it's not true. I guess that's just the way it's meant to be. You and Dad should go on and live your lives without the emotional baggage of a disrupt suicidal daughter. Maybe someday if you want to have kids again, find a sperm donor for Whoever's sake and spare yourself the trouble.
Thanks for being there, and make sure everyone knows about this.
-Kale
